A young South African doctor has opened up about a serious issue that often goes unnoticed: financial abuse. Dr. Celiwe Ndaba has sparked a national conversation after sharing her experience of being financially exploited by her husband, which ultimately led to their separation.
In a series of viral videos, Dr. Ndaba shared her story while sitting in her car on her way to work. Despite having a successful career and being a mother of three, she felt trapped in a toxic marriage. She revealed how she was manipulated into funding her husband’s lifestyle, particularly his desire to drive a luxury Mercedes Benz. Dr. Ndaba described taking out loans for him to buy these cars as the "worst decision" of her life, which placed immense financial strain on her family.
Despite her pleas for her husband to downgrade to a more affordable vehicle, he refused, accusing her of wanting to make him a "laughing stock" for driving a smaller car. Dr. Ndaba has since reverted to using her maiden name and gained a large following on social media after sharing her experiences. She hopes to warn others that financial abuse can affect anyone, not just those who are uneducated or less fortunate.
Her estranged husband, Temitope Dada, has not commented publicly on the allegations. However, he recently created a TikTok account where he acknowledged his nickname, "Mr. Benz or nothing," and has denied the accusations, labeling them as lies. His posts have included hashtags like #divorcetrauma, suggesting he is also feeling the impact of their separation.
Dr. Ndaba’s story has resonated with many women, leading to a flood of supportive comments on her social media platforms. Many female breadwinners have shared similar experiences of financial abuse, highlighting the ongoing struggle against it. One commenter expressed gratitude for Dr. Ndaba’s bravery, stating, "I have been suffering in silence."
Lawyer Bertus Preller, based in Cape Town, pointed out that even as more South African women become successful professionals, they still face challenges related to cultural norms that prioritize male authority. He explained that financial abuse is a subtle yet powerful form of domestic violence, aimed at controlling victims. In South Africa, this type of abuse is classified as economic abuse under the Domestic Violence Act, which covers actions like withholding money for essentials or interfering with shared assets.
Dr. Ndaba’s story sheds light on a critical issue that affects many, encouraging others to speak out and seek help.